23 Signs Your Child Likes to 'Decorate'
1. You don’t have any idea where any pairs of scissors are in your house and even the mention of their name gives you heart palpitations.
2. You have highly unique, one off pieces of ‘artwork’ on all the walls around your house, which you certainly didn’t commission, but you are paying the price for.
3. You forgot how agile you were until you saw your child remove the lid from a black marker pen next to your cream sofa.
4. All the felt tip pens in your house are blunt and/or dried out from misuse.
5. Your children do know where the scissors are and use them to cut things they shouldn’t in secret; important receipts, money, their brothers hair.
6. You dread any birthdays, Christmases or any events where your child may be gifted a craft set by a ‘thoughtful’ family member.
7. You no longer have use for your recycling bag, as any items that do make the bag, are soon rescued and put to good use building a space ship, dump truck, treasure chest and/or cut up into as many tiny pieces (using the scissors you no longer have possession of) and thrown around the living room.
8. Silence. Is. Not. A. Good. Thing. As soon as there is silence in your home your immediate thoughts are *what are they cutting up now*.
9. Don’t get me started on PVA glue.
10. Or glitter.
11. Washing hands becomes an art form; when they do it half properly and the other half is used to make handprints on the walls.
12. Dinner time is also a time for decorating... your table, the floor and your hair.
13. When you are at work and you hear the word ‘scissors’ and you shudder.
14. You secretly want to kill Mr Maker.
15. You only own brown play-dough.
16. You don’t own enough magnets and/or don’t have a big enough fridge for all the Picasso like paintings you have been blessed to be given by your darling decorator.
17. You aren’t brave enough to get a real decorator in to make your house beautiful again incase your mini decorator gets ideas.
18. They definitely get their decorating skills from your spouse.
19. You believe messy is the new parenting chic.
20. The only time you allow painting to take place is if there is a two-to-one ratio of adults to kids available, and aprons, kitchen towel and baby wipes must be within reaching distance.
21. No mixing of paint pots is allowed.
22. And no, I don’t know where the scissors are for you to cut your painting out!
23. Don't touch it! It’s not dry yet...
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